A Precarious Existence for the First Eighteen Years of Life
My mother was born and raised in a tiny town in the state of Ohio. She grew up in a time when women, in general, were almost wholly ignorant about sex, conception and childbirth. My mother was not the exception your highest truth.
She struggled all during her pregnancy with me, being her first conception. She suffered depression, fearing to give birth, because she did not understand the hormonal changes going on inside of her.
When it came time to give birth to me, she labored for so long, the doctors considered C-section, which was not commonly, or routinely performed in that era.
Born into the world with Irritable Bowel Syndrome, I could neither process my mother’s milk, baby food, nor water, and became jaundiced, almost dying within the first six weeks of life. When I formed stools, they had to be physically removed.
At six weeks of life, I developed pneumonia and was hospitalized, again. Now, it was an urgent struggle for the doctors to save my life. At six months of age, I was again hospitalized, developing pneumonia, again! And again, the doctors managed to save my infant life.
All during my childhood, I was constantly sick. I had one cold, after another, and one bout of flu, after another.
Added to this challenge, my Irish father was a big, stout, stern and commanding, demanding personality, who was also a heavy meat and potatoes eater. And being his firstborn son, who was weakly, he forced me to eat a lot of meat and potatoes.
I could not process the meat and was allergic to the potatoes. This constant sent my physical health into one long daily tailspin.
It seemed that I was allergic to life itself. My eyes constantly teared, streaming down my face. Everything I ate and breathed adversely affected me.
All during my childhood and teen years, I did not comprehend that my dad, in his own ignorance, was adding insult and injury to my health, because he was a heavy smoker, who smoked in the house. I was exposed to his secondhand smoke which was also making me ill.
Nine Years of Battling Addictions
The next nine years of my life was more unconsciously than consciously spent addicted to cigarettes, alcohol and other drugs.
During this decade, I thought everything bad that could happen to a person was happening to me. It would take another three years to come to grips with overcoming the addictions and beginning a path to achieving optimal health and subsequent spiritual clarity.
I spent the two years, prior to age thirty-two, teaching myself hypnotic self-programming, wherein I would daily envision myself doing my normal routines, without smoking, drinking and ingesting drugs of any kind.